The edge of our beliefs

I wonder what is the line between a radical idea and an insane one. Until a certain point in our understanding, an idea is acceptable, beyond that it is slightly zany, and suddenly it becomes so crazy that it borders on being stupid. What defines these boundaries? It seems like we all have a different line which we toe with throughout our lives. For some of us it may be our comfort zone, but I think it is more complex than that.

So what makes us believe in radio frequency waves but not in a soul? Maybe because we can measure, record and manipulate the things we believe in. Or we are presented with a reasonable argument by someone whose intelligence has been measured and recorded to be sufficiently good. Our collective intelligence has gone beyond the point of trusting only our senses to comprehend a phenomenon. We now treat instruments and data, in addition to eyes and ears to send recognition signals to the brain. When I am first told that the universe is made of tiny stringy invisible matter, I dismiss it as hogwash. But when scientists show me measurements done in dimensions I can understand, I slowly open up to the idea even though I still cannot see it myself. So it is sort of dumbing down of the entire phenomenon in order to make myself understand it.

I love the concept of Flatland and use it every time I come across an idea too ridiculous. How would the 2 dimensional Flat people react to, say, an octopus? If they were as "highly evolved" as us, they would try to measure and manipulate it in their own silly way. One Flat scientist may measure the length (mind you, they cannot see both length and width) and another may have different results at another part of Flatland. They may conclude that the octopus is some kind of a mobile flat object with varying length at various points. It is an okay explanation for someone with only two dimensions to work with. But only when they realise that there is another dimension out there, they will be able to see the octopus for what it really looks like, well according to us 3D people anyway! But it isn't as easy as yelling at them to "look up, you idiot!", the idea that there are additional views to their world is beyond comprehension.


Thinkers extrapolate this concept to our world so that we open our minds to what is unknown. Because it seems like we are stuck through no fault of our own, in a limiting set of beliefs about the universe. Are there additional dimensions? Do parallel universes exist in our time-space reality? Is time travel really possible? Even these questions are framed out of our obsessive need to define everything in terms of what we know, which is an okay explanation for someone with three dimensions to work with? Maybe in our case looking 'up' is looking 'in', maybe that is where our answers lie... Who knows really? On the bright side, such concepts are generally understood in a flash, like gravity, a sudden realization. We just need to keep our head exposed so an apple can fall on it! Oh how I wait for that moment!

Why science needs a paradigm shift

As John Dewey said, “Every great advance in science has issued from a new audacity of imagination”. Maybe time has come for science to take another giant leap of imagination, this time brought about by the amazing findings of quantum mechanics.

All empirical scientific research when stripped to the bone looks the same: we conduct an experiment with certain measurable parameters, and observe the outcome. Depending upon the outcome we tweak the variables and again observe the results. Most science is conducted with one basic premise – the ‘observer’ and the ‘observed’ are independent of each other. Now, any quantum physicist will immediately laugh at this statement, because it has been proven that at the most basic level of matter this simply cannot be true. It is now very well known, although the reasons are not understood, that the two are linked, and it is impossible to separate the two.

Justifiably called the ‘big daddy of quantum physics’ is the double slit experiment, which gave the startling result that an electron exists as a wave and collapses into a particle only when it is observed. This led to a whole lot of studies being done on what is now termed, “the observer effect”. Scientists are now more curious about how the observer and the experiment interact on the quantum level and are trying to define their mysterious findings. Even Einstein dedicated the last years of his life trying to find a unifying theory that would explain the workings of the entire universe in a single equation.

The question we, the scientific community, should be posing ourselves is, when will we have enough evidence to extrapolate these findings into other areas of science? Biologists for example are still following the conventional style of research that experiments give results; and exact same experiments conducted by different people should give the exact same results. In fact an experiment is deemed credible only if its results are repeatable. Can anyone else see the problem with this approach?

After now knowing how the most basic form of matter functions, how can we still make observations with the assumption that we are separate from the outcome of our experiment? Can we be so naïve as to think that the findings of quantum physics only apply to subatomic particles, and the mere fact of observing is not affecting the result of the experiment? How long will it be before we take into account the relationship between the experiment and the observer, and then try to make sense of the universe?

Does an unbreakable connection between all matter mean that objectivity in scientific research goes out of the window? Not necessarily. Maybe we just need to imbibe the fascinating new principles into our scientific thought and design experiments that acknowledge the observer effect, instead of pretending that it does not exist. It may pose some confusion in the beginning, but so does any radical idea. It is said that the mind once expanded by a new thought never regains its original dimensions. After all isn’t that the whole point of every arcane research project – to expand the collective consciousness of human race by understanding the world we live in?

Ithaca - Constantine Cavafy

Poetry has been a very important part of my life, and for someone who derives life lessons from lines of verse, it was surprisingly easy to pick my favorite poem of all time - Ithaca by Cavafy. As all good poems, it has meanings on many levels.. more of my favorite poems later! (image - painting by Thomas Kinkade, another favorite)

Ithaca - Constantine Cavafy



When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon -- do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path,
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your soul does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.

Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would have never set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.

Quantum mumbling..

If every moment in the past is nothing but thought, history is just collective memory, and memory is an illusion based on social conditioning.. then the same must be true for one moment later, it is thought.. so, what is reality is an infinitesimally small “now”.

Wierder and wierder :)

For my Parents, Feb 2010

As I sit down to write this, I can't believe how hard it is to put into words what I feel about the two most important persons in my world. So these words convey only a fraction of how much I actually love you.

When I look back, the last 24 years seem to have gone in a haze of activity that is normal for a growing child – books, exams, new schools, new friends. Only when I dig deeper do I see the moments that were consistent during all these years and yet did not get the importance they deserve in my memory.

Sometimes I regret that I did not take the time to pause some of those moments and watch what was actually happening. Like when I was getting ready to go to school, I did not remember to feel thankful to you daddy, for tying my shoelaces while mummy was pinning a folded handkerchief to my uniform. I did not remember to be thankful for the fact that no matter where we were, my birthday would be a grand celebration with mummy making puri and chole for my hundreds of crazy friends. There are thousands of such moments where I wish someone had tapped on my shoulder and told me how lucky I was.

Every time we shifted to a new place, it brought for me the struggle of adjusting into a new home, a new school, making new friends etc. But when mummy makes the first dinner in the new house, of tomato pappu, and egg burji; and we eat sitting on the floor amid the unpacked boxes of furniture, at that moment I know that not everything has changed. That no matter where I go, those four square feet of space will give me a sense of comfort like no other.

Perhaps I was too young to see my character shape into the person that I am now. And while I was busy studying, playing and living my life, slowly the foundations of my personality were being laid, each brick being placed with careful thought. Today I stand as a testament to your upbringing, filled with lots of kisses and a few, very gentle, bruises! I have learnt how to lead my life by watching you leading yours, and for me it seems very simple to live with peace, truth and integrity.

When children are growing up they are influenced most by two types of people – their friends, and their mentors. Children are lucky if they have a friend they can open their heart to, and an idol who they aspire to be like. I found my best friend in you, mummy, and I don't think I have hesitated to share anything with you. Sometimes in your soothing voice, there would be valuable advice on how to deal with situations. At others, I would be comforted just by hiding my face in your lap knowing that come what may, you will always be there for me.

Daddy, you have been more than just a great father to me. Without even realising it, I tried to copy everything you did, the way you talk, the way you stand, thinking it would make me a person like you. If I am even partly similar to you, I consider it an accomplishment. I must be the luckiest person in the world, because while I have made so many friends throughout my life, my two best friends live with me in my house.

I wish I had another chance to revisit those wonderful childhood moments and inscribe them in my memory forever. Sadly, life is unforgiving and I would have to be satisfied with the memories that I have. Fortunately, many more wonderful times lie ahead and I won't let of any of them slip out of the reach of my unreliable memory this time!

Although for me these 25 years have themselves been a celebration of our family's strength, convention demands that today we celebrate the journey of you two as a couple. When you met for the first time on the steps of Birla Mandir in 1984, little did you know that a new story was being written that was going to shape the destinies of not just two individuals but two whole families. Since then, you have shared happiness and sorrow, raised a daughter who wasn't always the easiest to handle, and made your own special memories.

When I see you both today, I am filled with pride at the comfort that you share with each other. I see that the two souls that came together long ago are no longer separate. They have merged together and it is not possible to see one without the other. More than anything, I am grateful to have seen an example of a wonderful marriage right in my home.

Today as a grown up, I know, well I pretend to know, how to deal with my relationships, my successes and failures. But to tell you a secret, I am still a little girl at heart, who needs her mom to comfort her that everything is fine, and her dad to pick her up in his strong arms and rock her to sleep on his shoulder. My world, my little land of happiness begins and ends in the four square feet of space around you two.

September 25,2008

I wrote this a few days after I decided to return to India, as I was typing protocols on my computer, thoughts starting flowing into words and I began typing....It was a regular day at work…
10. Place cartridge over the equilibrated column and remove cap. Using a plunger gently push the solution to enter the column. Allow the solution to enter the resin by gravity. Do not force the white lysate to enter the resin. I am going home! To a place where I don’t have to keep wishing that everyone in the world has a good day. The bus driver, the security guard, the waiter, person in elevator, person at bus stop, person in the bathroom for god's sake! I want to go back to the place where it is perfectly normal to ignore the person in the elevator, and pretend the bus driver does not exist, act as though the bus somehow magically makes its way through rush hour traffic.

Speaking of traffic, I want to go back to a place where I can honk – honk till my horn is sore! God, what a simple stress buster! Angry with your boss? Honk your heart out at the autorikshaw driver till he’s deaf, he probably doesn’t care about his life anyway. Lost a job? Congratulations! You qualify for a honk, yelling and one minute of uninterrupted swearing at the bus driver who blocked your way! Oh, ignoring the bus driver is only limited to when you are inside the bus.

You can ignore other people too, like as a woman you are taught to ignore pretty much every male of the species. Until one day your parents shove one of them in front of you and say, “He’s the best for you”. Hello? Don’t you have to see ‘good’ and ‘better’ before you can say he’s the best? Marriage is right now a sticky subject for me since one by one, I’ve started losing my friends to unknown strangers who suddenly take up all their time. Duh, strangers are unknown… but that’s how mad I am! But more of my expert views on marriage in a later post. Right now I’m just excited to be going home. And not just for the traffic and grumpy people (how shallow do you think I am??), I’ve got some actual reasons. Like I no longer need to go to work everyday, and come home and pay the bills, cook food, clean the apartment etc. I want to go to a place where mom cooks, dad works, dad pays the bills and mom cleans. Sounds like heaven doesn’t it?

But there’s still some time left for that, until then –

11. Wash twice with 10ml QC.
12. Once all buffer QC has drained, place the cartridge on a 10ml tube and add 5ml elution buffer QF. Oh Well…

And by the way, if you have read all this – well done, I love you, now please get a life! And if you’ve just scrolled all the way down – you haven’t missed anything (although if you are in class right now and pretending to study, I suggest going up and reading it again.

13. Precipitate the DNA with 3.5ml isopropanol.

January 17, 2008

A snowflake clung to a strand of my hair and hung in front of my eyes. It is the most beautiful sight I have seen in a long time. I have been walking for the past ten minutes in the snow, but its taken a snowflake dangling before me to actually see how beautiful it was around me. Yes, it has been snowing non stop today and needless to say, it is beautiful. Too bad the wind is behind me and I can’t feel the snow on my face. As I walk home, the wind's direction has changed and it is now snowing right into my face. Thank you. I don’t know whom I am thanking. Wait, maybe I do.

I come home. I find a packet lying on the sofa. I have been waiting for days. A birthday gift from home. I call out my roommates’ names and realize none of them are back. Thank you.

I tear open my packet and find a beautiful dress, four old photographs, a shawl and a letter. I throw everything else aside and slit open the letter. I can’t read for a few minutes. I shut my eyes close and let the extra drops of water fall off my eyelashes. I open my eyes, and start reading the letter. Sight of my dad’s handwriting makes me well up again. You are disgusting! I finally read the whole letter, slowly put it down and look at all the other stuff. I look out of the window, and then at the entire room. Thank you. This time I was sure who I was thanking.

That moment everything felt right. I felt as though all my dreams will come true. Everything is beautiful. The packet arriving for me on such a beautiful day, the snowflake on my hair, and the fact that I did not have to share all this with anyone. Thank you!

Hem, Haw

So its been over a year since I started this blog, and forgot all about it. It took me a while to figure out the username and password (lucky that I write all my passwords and ATM numbers in a little blue notebook and hide it under my- I won't tell you!). Anyway, so I've decided to paste all my random writings here, because this space does not deserve to be empty. But primarily because my computer is running out of disk space and I don't like to backup trash, so I'm going to dump it on you instead!

yellow!

Barging into blogland!